Do vagina's smell?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
