im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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