please come you make the beer taste better
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
