We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
