I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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