no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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