I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize