hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
