Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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