Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
