I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
