On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
