Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
