Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
