yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize