Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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