i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
