Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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