So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
