I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize