People with herpes should wear stickers.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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