I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
