just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
