how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
