Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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