I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
