Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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