yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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