Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
