So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
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I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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