im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
