Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize