Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
