Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
