Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Randomize
