Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize