We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
