end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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