Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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