Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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