K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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