Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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