I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
