Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize