i need an iv and a liver transplant
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
this will be a night to untag.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
