Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
