can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
