i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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