im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
