You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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