That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
