chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
