Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
