He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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