And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
