I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
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Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
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I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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