Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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