Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
