Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
