You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
