sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
where are my eyebrows?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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