I just made out with a guy for $7.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
