"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
