its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
