I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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