Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
