You're completely useless in the revolution.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
