you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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