Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
