Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
